Saturday, June 23, 2012

An EPIC adventure, PART 1

About four months ago my neighbor says to me "Hey, would you like to be on my Epic Relay team this summer?"  Me, feeling all badass because I'm running again and dropping some pounds, I immediately and without hesitation say "Absolutely!"  Mind you, I was FULLY aware of what a relay entailed: 6 sweaty, smelly, nervous colon BAMRs in a van (if you aren't reading the Run Like a Mother and Train Like a Mother books shame on you, but BAMR = Bad Ass Mother Runner) who sleep less than 4 hours in a 30 hour period and in our case, cover 187+ of the most glorious and INSANELY hot miles in Oregon.  Sure, that sounds like an awesome idea!

So over the past several months I "trained" for this adventure and by trained I mean I just ran.  A lot.  I believe that my husband was ready to sell me, and my children were pretty sure that crazy old lady running around the block at night with them was somehow a very convincing look-alike replacement for their formerly couch potato lazy ass mom.  Leading up to the event I started to have some trouble with my hip, thinking it was likely bursitis I did what every intelligent runner would do:  I kept running and made an appointment for the chiropractor.

And let me say this to be PERFECTLY CLEAR:  Thank GOD for Dr. Seth Colner at Colner Family Chiropractic and his amazing staff.  He fixed me up and sent me off on the adventure with SPRAYABLE BIOFREEZE, the single most amazing invention, aside from the "love stick", but more on that later, and get your mind out of the gutter.....

The morning of the adventure was totally cool, we decorated the crap out of VAN 2, my pimped up ride for the next 30 hours.  Our team name was Fueled By Fine Wine so of course several references were made to how much hooch we could/would consume on the adventure.  Ironically, we mostly just drank beer.  Better for carbo loading, just sayin'.

We sent VAN 1 off in style and went to eat a filthy giant breakfast, you know fuel for our run that day and got sunburned before we ever left town.  Awesome.  We had such fun on the drive to the first van exchange we did stop at a winery for a taste.  And can I say that 6 women in running clothes tasting wine at a very nice vineyard was certainly eye catching for folks who were there.  Nothing says health & fitness like boozing it up before a run, eh?

Unfortunately for our team, we got the heat of the day, and many long miles in the hot sun with little to no shade.  Well, 5 of 6, I was legs 12, 24 and 26 and had the best legs of the adventure.  I think there's a bidding war on who gets them next time. 

I'm a bit on the OCD side when it comes to running music so I set my tunes according to A) my predicted pace and B) where I would be on the course so if I needed some power tunes for the hill I'd be ready and not have to fart around with my iPhone.  The relay folks did a great job of noting "one more mile to go" for each leg, but as I was running I kept thinking that I was running waaaaay longer than a mile (based on my music and the fact that I knew, KNEW I was beating my pace prediction).

Needless to say I came in "as scheduled" but my GPS said .5 miles longer.  Just sayin'.  Everyone else in the van was ready for dinner so I stretched a few and we set off in search of something other than McDonald's.  We found a great restaurant, The Tap Room in Silverton, and I struggled to find anything appetizing immediately after running what's left of my ass off.  Eating ANYTHING at that moment proved to be a mistake (more on that later), as was bringing in my blue ice bag and having the bartender fill it full of ice (you should have SEEN the looks) and my GIANT BAGGIE OF PILLS. 

Yep, plopped that baby in the MIDDLE the table and even my own teammates were appalled that I brought them in.  Though after sitting there eating for an hour suddenly everyone wanted something.  I was dealing out ibuprofen, naproxen and acetaminophen like cards!  I passed the blue ice bag around too and I gotta say, it. was. awesome.

My only real issue at this point was the fact that my stomach fully rejected the food I so lovingly ordered and stuffed in my food hole.  This proved to make for a looooooong night before my second leg.  I'll save the next story for part 2.  Just know at this point we made our way to the next van exchange, found a shower (well it was more like a fire hose!) and laid down for some "sleep".