Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Panic Attacks and other fun things....

Well I really don't want to take a serious turn on my blog, but as you know I am all about humor so I'll try to keep this as light as possible! On occasion I have mentioned that I do, in fact, take medication. Very tongue in cheek-ish, but I need to be up front and honest: I take Lexapro.

Someone recently asked me, what the hell is Lexapro? For those of you well-balanced, strees free freaks of nature, it is a once-daily medication that keeps me from driving my car off the long bridge into the deepest part of the lake and from going to the emergency room fearing I am having a heart attack. In other words, it is anti-anxiety and anti-depression medication.

And yes, I went to the emergency room once thinking I was having a heart attack. At age 34. In pretty good health. Duh. I felt like someone was standing on my chest, I couldn't breathe hardly and when I got in there my blood pressure was so high it was amazing. Nothing like a good narcotic to bring you down however. I think they gave me Xanax?

So of course they said I needed therapy, medication and for god's sake an outlet for my stress. So I left my corporate job at Coldwater Creek to run a local nonprofit. How long do you think that lasted until I started getting anxiety attacks again? Needless to say, I didn't get therapy or meds until late last winter when we still had 5 feet of snow and I thought about either driving myself into oncoming traffic or disappearing to Mexico. Sadly, the bridge scenario was more appealing.

I still have yet to find an outlet for my stress however. As a working mom with a demanding job and a spouse with an equally demanding job, about all I have time to do or the means to do during the week is play with kids, do housework, watch TV and pass out in bed as soon as possible. Does this sounds familiar to anyone?

So here I am confessing to using medication to balance my brain out, but in all honesty I wouldn't go back and do anything different. Most people close to me who weren't necessarily excited about meds are now saying "Keep that woman medicated!".

I am more of the me I used to be, and I liked me once a long time ago, and well slowly I am starting to be friends with myself again so that's a good thing. All joking aside, if you or anyone you know needs help, get it, get therapy and feel better.

Besides, if it weren't for Lexapro I wouldn't be able to torture people with my rambling thoughts, and it keeps me from being one of those alcoholic moms on the Oprah show.


la maestra said...

Good post Amy! I've been telling Filly that I need to either become an alcholic or a pill-popping, coke-sniffing drug fiend to deal with my new life. I suppose your way is the smarter option.

Anonymous said...

Well all I can say is there's no shame in getting prescription help. Get the happy pills and get to feeling normal. I should have had them with my first baby honestly. Vitamins won't cut it- take that Tom Cruise. Feel better and don't be shy about getting the help you need. Big changes, lack of sleep, no breaks can really cause you to have some serious trouble. You are more normal than you'll ever know.....