Tweet deck and other time suckers

Wow, so I thought maybe I'd better join the social media revolution and sign up for tweetdeck. Congratulations, Amy, you've just signed up for the greatest time sucker of all! Not only can I tweet about nothing to hundreds of people I've never met, but now I get INSTANT UPDATES from hundreds of people I've never met. What a gift.

I must admit I am a bit of a social media junkie these days. For example, almost a year ago I joined the FaceBook revolution. Now I have been connecting with dozes of people from junior high and high school, many of whom I have not spoken to since June of 1991. But, it is pretty cool. And I find myself jumping on during the day to see what people are "up to" when I need a brain break.

And I have discovered that MANY people do the same thing, at regular intervals, so now I know when someone has taken a dump, washed their dishes or eaten a muffin. How ever did I get by without this knowledge?

And I am just as guilty, my most recent FB post: "Ever notice how close the U and I are together when typing the word shut?" Really? We should retitle status updates to say "Deep thoughts by Jack Handey".

And another great function of the FB world is that you can change the language settings. I recently discovered the pirate setting. Aaaaargh, me mateys were squawking all the time! I grew tired of translating it so I went back to plain English. Guess that's why I decided to try tweetdeck. Something else to entertain me.

I also discovered that I can "tweet" (aka say nothing of substance in 140 characeters or less) via my cell phone. And I can also update my FB status with the phone, hence the "I've eaten a bran muffin, look out toilet when I finish with the dishes" kind of updates.

But, if you have oodles of free time and need something that completely consumes your brain, check out twitter, tweet deck and other fun ways to tell the world absolutely nothing. Kind of like a blog.....only really short. Hmmm.....maybe I need a hobby.

Sanity, sanity, wherefore art though sanity?

The last couple months have been beyond crazy. Let me say first that I am grateful for all my blessings, which are many: a home, wonderful kidlets, a really cool hubs, a great job, our health, and you know blah blah blah.

So why in the name of all that is good and holy am I suffering from anxiety attacks all over again? It has been a RARE occasion that I have experienced them over the past year, but lately I am just in a constant state of anxiety.

Do you know what it feels like to live with the sensation that a sumo wrestler is standing on your chest at all times? Do you know how freaking embarassing it is to have to drive while inhaling/exhaling into a paper bag so you don't go apeshit?

Can you fathom the frustration people like me feel when they realize that it takes less than 60 seconds to be completely and utterly worked into a frenzy, and yet it takes 4 days, 3 xanax, 2 bottles of wine and a full day of sleep to get rid of it?

Do you know that you can give yourself MORE anxiety by being anxious about having an anxiety attack? Have you ever heard of an adult woman chasing her tail? Welcome to my world!

I am, as I type this, feeling an even heightened sense of anxiousness, solely because I'm talking about it. OMG!

I hope that after the holidays, the new office move, the Tiger Woods debacle and the H1N1 scare are over that I'll start to feel better. Meantime, I'm off to find a quiet place to curl up in a ball and rock myself to sleep.

Dude. Seriously?

I have been swapmed lately with work and kids and life, you know how it goes. Not that I haven't had anything to say, but nothing that has really pissed me off to drop what I am working on (that pays my bills) to take a moment to vent. Here's my moment.

I've never been a HUGE Tiger Woods fan, but always kind of thought he was a neat guy, giving back to kids, being a golfer/philanthropist/family man. Guess we can add philanderer to his list of accomplishments.

And how embarassing, not for the world of golf, not for Tiger, but for his beautiful wife and their two kids. And ya know what Tig? Get over the media getting "all in your bizness" about your "transgressions". You're one lucky SOB that no one found out sooner.

And the fact that people find it so interesting and can't resist wanting to know more, is that quite frankly people are kind of shocked that you would abuse your position in such a way. And you're so "private" about your private life. Here's a tip, Tig: If ya want to keep your private life private, keep it in your pants, bud.

And if you can't keep it in your pants, then don't go sleeping with multiple, extremely slutty and opportunistic chicks from Las Vegas. And do your wife and children a favor, and allow them to move on.

Honestly, I can completely understand why the back of his car was smashed with a golf club. He's lucky he didn't get it in the head. And I also understand her being visibly upset, the last thing I would want is the whole freaking world finding out what a cheating bastard I married, calling my judgement into question.

Nuff said.