Monday, July 12, 2010

Yes, I have officially become my mother

I know I have said this before, but now that I am home with the kids instead of working full time, I have had the opportunity of a lifetime to say all the things my mother used to say to us when she was home with us all day.

For example, my personal favorite is "wait until your father gets home" which means that you have completely and totally lost all credibility with your children and no longer have control over ANY situation.  WARNING: If you find yourself saying these words, or similar variations such as "your Dad is NOT going to be happy when I tell him about this" you do not, I repeat DO NOT want to take your children anywhere in public because they know that you know that you have completely lost it and quite frankly nothing good can come from that.

Another little gem I found myself saying was the old "I gave birth to you so you should (fill in the blank here)" guilt trip.  In my case, the words were slightly different but the desired result was the same: shame and guilt the kids into doing what I want.  I took them to the Portland Children's Museum (by the way HIGHLY recommend it for kiddos & parents who need a little break!) and basically watched them screw around for three hours.  And they had a blast but it wore me out a bit. 

When we got home I asked them to have some "quiet time" and at 3:30 in the afternoon I found myself wondering  "what the hell was I thinking" but saying to the kids out loud "I've just spent three hours following you around that museum can't I have 10 minutes of peace and quiet?"  Pack your bags, we're going on a guilt trip kids.

As previously noted my children are now predisposed to fighting from the moment they open their eyes in the morning until they finally pass out in the evening (it IS getting better I swear) so I found myself yelling "Do I have to SEPARATE you two?!?!" as my mother knew, as do I now, that the one thing the kids hate more than each other is not being together.  Works like a charm.

I think I am going to write a movie script for my life these days called "Threats, white lies and digital evidence" since these are the new tools of the trade.  I think I can hear my mother laughing right now.  I gave birth to the children she wished upon me so many years ago. 

1 comment:

la maestra said...

Oh Amy, This just killed me! I was laughing so hard as I read this. Thanks, I needed that!