Monday, December 20, 2010

Why My Children Will Someday Need Therapy

Reason #1:  I have convinced them that Santa IS watching them.  All the time.
Reason #2:  I have convinced them that Santa has a cell phone and uses it to text me when they are naughty.
Reason #3:  I have convinced them that the website that tells them automatically that they are on Santa's nice list is run by Gremlins.
Reason #4:  They KNOW what a gremlin is.
Reason #5:  They have been completely convinced that they have a 50/50 shot at getting coal in their stockings.

God, I love Christmas.  It is the one month of the year I have something to hold over them to keep them in line.  Yes, I know, I am mother of the year.


Krystal said...

That's all?? I have have sent texts to him, and he is my FaceBook friend too! But hasn't been working too well! She created a "potion" in the bathroom sink the other night with toothpaste, soap and various other cosmetics! And then, she tried to "clean it up" making a water mess that spilled to the floor! And this follows the Sharpie marker makeover: arms/hands, legs/feet and FACE! We have been busy making Christmas cookies and candy, and decorating/wrapping and all the other chores, so she has been on her own a bit too much! HaHa!

Marcus Griffith said...

I am a freelance journalist for The Vancouver Voice, a non-daily paper in Vancouver WA.

Can you contact me via email?

Mio said...

I'll be following whatever you write from now on. You are one of the reasons I believe mankind CAN survive! Love the way you use words! :-)