Mark and I met for lunch today at Subway (did you know you can get a tasty 6 inch sandwich under 300 calories for $5??) and took in some "scenery" while we were there. Actually, Mark enjoyed the view while I pondered the benefits of a boob job.
This is one of my favorite topics to discuss with him because when it comes to women's breasts, there is no logic for a man. We go back and forth on what is a better investment, boobs or a boat? Tough call for me as a small breasted woman living 10 minutes from a lake.
So, I figure for the cost of a decent boob job (roughly $4800 thanks to one of my friends who had the consultation and got the job done) you can also buy a decent used boat.
I think that is interesting. Not that I would mind having a nice rack, since what little I had when I got married droops well below my armpits (the end result of two children) and my belly sticks out further than they do prompting questions from my children like "is there a baby in there"?
Just for fun, let's compare, apples to apples:
Boat: floats on water
Boobs: floats in water
winner: boat
Boat: for a nice used boat, price tag of about $5000
Boobs: for a brand new set, price tag of $4800
winner: boobs
Boat: fun for for the whole family
Boobs: fun only for me, and, on rare occasions, Mark
winner: boat
Boat: replacement cost in 10 - 20 years: could be nothing if you take care of your boat
Boobs: replacement cost: another $4800 or more (with inflation) no matter HOW well you take care of 'em
winner: boat
Boat: everyone can see it and admire it all summer long
Boobs: everyone can see MOST of them and admire them all summer long
winner: toss up
Boat: we will have WAY more friends with a boat
Boobs: only I will have way more friends and Mark may not like them!
winner: depends on who you ask! but in all fairness, the boat wins this argument
Clearly, the boat is the best investment for the expense. Way more bang for our buck and truly fun for the whole family. New boobs might actually end up creating another family member (just ask the aforementioned friend who did get the boob job!!) and would really prevent us from getting out there and enjoying the lake.
I have another poll to see what you, my wonderful readers who keep sending this to everyone they know (hint hint) think about the boat vs boob debate.
Friday, September 12, 2008
Wednesday, September 10, 2008
Writer's block?
I woke up today with a pretty bad case of writer's block. Usually I have all sorts of things to discuss on my blog (as you are probably aware) and today for some reason, I just couldn't think. Well, that isn't entirely true.
I could blog about all sorts of stuff, but when your family/friends/co-workers all read your blog it puts some severe limitations on what you can discuss. One of my favorite friends reads the blog after we hang out hoping that I don't blog about something they did! Not that I think it would ruin our friendship or anything but I haven't quite gotten to the no-holds-barred approach in my blogging.
For example, I have YEARS and YEARS worth of material from my parents (sorry Mom & Dad, but you know its true!) but at the same time since I at least know my Mom reads it (she's even posted comments, thanks Mom!!) I have to be careful or I'll be cut out of the will entirely. I usually save my family issues for paid therapy sessions anyway since there's that patient/doctor privilege thing.
And when it comes to my brother, well I have lots of stuff to talk about, like how he still gives me wet willies every now and again, how he used to sit on me and fart (still traumatized about it), how he shot me in the pinky toe with a bb gun when we were kids and it swelled up bigger than my BIG toe, or how no matter how old I get I will never EVER be as smart as he is. However, I do think I was at least blessed with common sense, or as I like to call it "street smarts". My brother, not so much.
That's a whole other blog session, but a quick example: When we were kids he built a bomb in our garage on the 4th of July and didn't bother to hide it from the folks. Yep, left it sitting on the workbench in the garage where the adults would see it when they headed out for the fireworks. Now, I may not be smart enough to build a bomb out of fertilizer, gun powder, a baby food jar and who knows what else, but I sure know better than to leave it in plain sight. Duh!
Funny thing is, I don't seem to have any trouble making fun of my husband or children. Of course the kids can't read, so that's a no brainer. And at least Mark has a good sense of humor so he doesn't get too excited about most things, but he is very sensitive to any further references to boners.
Hopefully this writer's block thing will be cured soon, or at least I'll get over the worry about being fired and start talking about all the crazy stuff that happens in my job (hint: Mark, you better get a raise pretty soon or we're gonna be in trouble!).
In the meantime, I have added another poll to my blog. Since the noodle thing didn't pan out (I think Google AdSense is conspiring against me) I'll figure something else out. Check it out, and enjoy the day folks!
I could blog about all sorts of stuff, but when your family/friends/co-workers all read your blog it puts some severe limitations on what you can discuss. One of my favorite friends reads the blog after we hang out hoping that I don't blog about something they did! Not that I think it would ruin our friendship or anything but I haven't quite gotten to the no-holds-barred approach in my blogging.
For example, I have YEARS and YEARS worth of material from my parents (sorry Mom & Dad, but you know its true!) but at the same time since I at least know my Mom reads it (she's even posted comments, thanks Mom!!) I have to be careful or I'll be cut out of the will entirely. I usually save my family issues for paid therapy sessions anyway since there's that patient/doctor privilege thing.
And when it comes to my brother, well I have lots of stuff to talk about, like how he still gives me wet willies every now and again, how he used to sit on me and fart (still traumatized about it), how he shot me in the pinky toe with a bb gun when we were kids and it swelled up bigger than my BIG toe, or how no matter how old I get I will never EVER be as smart as he is. However, I do think I was at least blessed with common sense, or as I like to call it "street smarts". My brother, not so much.
That's a whole other blog session, but a quick example: When we were kids he built a bomb in our garage on the 4th of July and didn't bother to hide it from the folks. Yep, left it sitting on the workbench in the garage where the adults would see it when they headed out for the fireworks. Now, I may not be smart enough to build a bomb out of fertilizer, gun powder, a baby food jar and who knows what else, but I sure know better than to leave it in plain sight. Duh!
Funny thing is, I don't seem to have any trouble making fun of my husband or children. Of course the kids can't read, so that's a no brainer. And at least Mark has a good sense of humor so he doesn't get too excited about most things, but he is very sensitive to any further references to boners.
Hopefully this writer's block thing will be cured soon, or at least I'll get over the worry about being fired and start talking about all the crazy stuff that happens in my job (hint: Mark, you better get a raise pretty soon or we're gonna be in trouble!).
In the meantime, I have added another poll to my blog. Since the noodle thing didn't pan out (I think Google AdSense is conspiring against me) I'll figure something else out. Check it out, and enjoy the day folks!
Saturday, September 6, 2008
I got my ass kicked by a vacuum cleaner
If you are eating or about to eat, don't read on. Otherwise, enter at your own risk.
Unfortunately for us our cleaning lady didn't come yesterday as scheduled. I was home with Brady a.k.a. Sir Poops A Lot because daycare sent him home (again) with the hershey squirts. I can spell diarrhea now (thanks google) and am now fully aware that yellow diarrhea can mean Giardia. And when the first question every nurse & doctor asks is "have you been camping lately?" its a sure bet they think the same thing.
Anyhoozer, the poor little dude has something going on, so bad that we had to catch him in the act of filling his drawers so that we could stuff the liquid poo into a little cup for analysis. I thought Mark was going to barf, which would not have been fun. We managed to get a "sample" as they call it and rushed to the lab at the local hospital. Granted it was 4pm, but come on lady, have a sense of humor instead of just staring when I say "Thank God you're here, you don't know what I had to go through to get that!". Well, maybe she doesn't speak English.
But I digress. I didn't want to have our cleaning lady experience the children on Friday so we canceled her visit. She comes every 2 weeks and before you peg me as one of "those" people who doesn't "do" cleaning, please know that I am just lazy. And I want to use my weekends to enjoy yelling at my children rather than cleaning. In any event, because of Mr. Stinky Pants and whatever plague he might be spreading, I thought it best to go ahead and clean the house myself.
There was a running joke at Kaylee's daycare for months because everytime she saw the vacuum she would get really scared. They always teased me that it was because she had never seen me use one. I didn't quite have the heart to tell them they were right. Would've ruined all their fun!
So I actually (I know Mom, hard to believe) cleaned my own house today. Toilets, sinks, mopping floors, scrubbing tubs, etc etc. Well, okay I didn't dust but we live on a dirt road so it wouldn't have done any good anyway!
But the hardest part of the whole event was the dang vacuum cleaner. Ladies & gentlemen, that thing was a work out! I was sweating when I got done, I could tell I gave my abs and obliques a good workout (heck I didn't even know I still had those things!) and even my arms were tired. I was starting to breathe heavy too, which really isn't a good sign.
Needless to say, had I known years ago that cleaning, and in particular vacuuming, could take the place of a 30 minute cardio workout I would have started doing the work more often! Oh, who am I kidding? I already told you how lazy I am! Can't wait for the cleaning lady to come back, I don't have the strength to keep this up!
Unfortunately for us our cleaning lady didn't come yesterday as scheduled. I was home with Brady a.k.a. Sir Poops A Lot because daycare sent him home (again) with the hershey squirts. I can spell diarrhea now (thanks google) and am now fully aware that yellow diarrhea can mean Giardia. And when the first question every nurse & doctor asks is "have you been camping lately?" its a sure bet they think the same thing.
Anyhoozer, the poor little dude has something going on, so bad that we had to catch him in the act of filling his drawers so that we could stuff the liquid poo into a little cup for analysis. I thought Mark was going to barf, which would not have been fun. We managed to get a "sample" as they call it and rushed to the lab at the local hospital. Granted it was 4pm, but come on lady, have a sense of humor instead of just staring when I say "Thank God you're here, you don't know what I had to go through to get that!". Well, maybe she doesn't speak English.
But I digress. I didn't want to have our cleaning lady experience the children on Friday so we canceled her visit. She comes every 2 weeks and before you peg me as one of "those" people who doesn't "do" cleaning, please know that I am just lazy. And I want to use my weekends to enjoy yelling at my children rather than cleaning. In any event, because of Mr. Stinky Pants and whatever plague he might be spreading, I thought it best to go ahead and clean the house myself.
There was a running joke at Kaylee's daycare for months because everytime she saw the vacuum she would get really scared. They always teased me that it was because she had never seen me use one. I didn't quite have the heart to tell them they were right. Would've ruined all their fun!
So I actually (I know Mom, hard to believe) cleaned my own house today. Toilets, sinks, mopping floors, scrubbing tubs, etc etc. Well, okay I didn't dust but we live on a dirt road so it wouldn't have done any good anyway!
But the hardest part of the whole event was the dang vacuum cleaner. Ladies & gentlemen, that thing was a work out! I was sweating when I got done, I could tell I gave my abs and obliques a good workout (heck I didn't even know I still had those things!) and even my arms were tired. I was starting to breathe heavy too, which really isn't a good sign.
Needless to say, had I known years ago that cleaning, and in particular vacuuming, could take the place of a 30 minute cardio workout I would have started doing the work more often! Oh, who am I kidding? I already told you how lazy I am! Can't wait for the cleaning lady to come back, I don't have the strength to keep this up!
Wednesday, September 3, 2008
Anyone ever watch America's Got Talent?
Clearly we need a hobby. We watched America's Got Talent last night after we put the kids to bed. Which isn't THAT bad, except we TiVo'd it while watching a special on the World Trade Center (yes, 7 years later we are still totally fascinated with the same story that hasn't changed).
Once we were thoroughly depressed all over again, we started watching AGT, thinking that would make us feel better. Amazingly, it did! Thankfully I am not an african-american tranvestite from Jamaica singing disco tunes in an opera voice to win a million bucks. Nope, I am a lazy 35 year old working mom watching others humiliate themselves on national television instead of doing something healthy, like maybe Pilates. You do the math.
Best part of the whole show? Watching Jerry Springer freak out on the promos for the upcoming acts right before the commercial break. He looks like the microphone is made of molten hot lava or something. He can barely hang onto the thing. I can't wait until he actually drops it!
I am sure that this is just a temporary phase as Dancing with the Stars begins its new season in a few weeks. Mark LOVES that show, not because of the dancing (though he was disturbingly impressed and enamored with rhythmic gymnastics during the Olympics) but OF COURSE because of all the boobs in little costumes he can stare at, pause, rewind, etc because of TiVo. Ah, the joys of "reality" tv programming.
Once we were thoroughly depressed all over again, we started watching AGT, thinking that would make us feel better. Amazingly, it did! Thankfully I am not an african-american tranvestite from Jamaica singing disco tunes in an opera voice to win a million bucks. Nope, I am a lazy 35 year old working mom watching others humiliate themselves on national television instead of doing something healthy, like maybe Pilates. You do the math.
Best part of the whole show? Watching Jerry Springer freak out on the promos for the upcoming acts right before the commercial break. He looks like the microphone is made of molten hot lava or something. He can barely hang onto the thing. I can't wait until he actually drops it!
I am sure that this is just a temporary phase as Dancing with the Stars begins its new season in a few weeks. Mark LOVES that show, not because of the dancing (though he was disturbingly impressed and enamored with rhythmic gymnastics during the Olympics) but OF COURSE because of all the boobs in little costumes he can stare at, pause, rewind, etc because of TiVo. Ah, the joys of "reality" tv programming.
Tuesday, September 2, 2008
Camping in North Idaho
What a weekend it was. We went camping AGAIN, this time up by Priest Lake near the golf course. We also spent three nights, instead of our usual two. Boy was that a mistake.
But I have to tell a quick story about the grocery store in Priest Lake. We were about a half mile walk from the nearest store, so in our infinite wisdom we thought we would walk with the kids down there & get some ice cream.
On the way you have to cross the highway, which one would think poses the greatest risk to life & limb. One would be wrong. Actually, the biggest hazard was avoiding the children & adults riding 4-wheelers and motorbikes on the pathway. So while we weren't leaving our "carbon footprint" the rest of the town apparently thought that riding small motorized vehicles around for no apparent reason wasn't really impacting our environment all that much, as evidenced by the laps they took over and over and over and around and around and around.........
But I digress. The most obvious sign of how smart some folks are in the northern regions of Idaho was the giant sign taped to the front door of the market:
But I have to tell a quick story about the grocery store in Priest Lake. We were about a half mile walk from the nearest store, so in our infinite wisdom we thought we would walk with the kids down there & get some ice cream.
On the way you have to cross the highway, which one would think poses the greatest risk to life & limb. One would be wrong. Actually, the biggest hazard was avoiding the children & adults riding 4-wheelers and motorbikes on the pathway. So while we weren't leaving our "carbon footprint" the rest of the town apparently thought that riding small motorized vehicles around for no apparent reason wasn't really impacting our environment all that much, as evidenced by the laps they took over and over and over and around and around and around.........
But I digress. The most obvious sign of how smart some folks are in the northern regions of Idaho was the giant sign taped to the front door of the market:
"We DO NOT accept photocopy IDs. We are sorry for the inconvenience."
They are sorry? Who the hell makes a photo copy of their ID and then brings it to the store? Furthermore, if you can make a copy, doesn't that mean you are in possession of it? The most stunning revelation I had was that someone actually thought a photocopy driver's license would be passable, second only to the fact that it was clear that MANY people tried this tactic. If it was just one person, you'd think that you wouldn't need to post a sign, but if SEVERAL people tried, then I guess you'd throw one up there.
Sadly, however, my feeling is if you are dumb enough to try using a photocopy ID you probably can't read the sign anyway. But hopefully it helps defray attempts at that location. I cant imagine the inconvenience of walking into the store, picking up your 12 pack of Lucky Lager, chewing tobacco and Slim Jims, dragging it to the counter, only to THEN be told that your "picture ID" wasn't gonna fly.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)