This week has been a bit rough in the chaos department, getting the kids ready for school in the morning. It has gotten progressively worse. I think they have this little stress-o-meter in their bodies and they can sense when we are late and they kind of ramp up their refusal to comply with perfectly normal and regular requests.
As most working parents can attest to, you have a "routine". Wake the kids up, get them dressed, toss some breakfast in them (or marshmallows if you are really desperate, you know, so they don't go to school on an empty stomach), brush teeth/hair, eat vitamins, you get the idea. Same order, same stuff, every STINKIN' day.
But on those days where we are running late, they seem to know it and depending on how late we are will depend on how horrible they act. Yesterday was, by far, the worst. Both kids were literally screaming at us while we were trying to get them ready. Honestly, if you had been at our front door listening you would have thought we were dismembering them or something.
And the other thing I have come to realize is that they are like wild animals and they can tell when you are weak, and take full advantage. So I was a man down this morning, with Mark leaving early to get to work, and boy oh boy, the minute those little hooligans heard the click of the garage door all hell broke loose.
I am glad I made it to work safely today. Can't wait to pick them up tonight and see what they have in store for me!
Friday, August 29, 2008
A great day for Vandals
Wow, what a news bite! Sen. John McCain announced his VP pick: Sarah Palin, the 44 year old mother of 5 who is Governor of Alaska. She is a 1987 graduate of the University of Idaho! Go VANDALS!
I was pretty excited to hear this, because she's from our state, and obviously well-educated, as I am certain the drinking age back then was 19! Hopefully she has a decent scrapbook from college so she can remember what she did (that's how I keep track of my five years, but moving on).
I think I'll share my blog with her though, as she just gave birth to her fifth child, a son, last April, WHILE being Governor of Alaska. So as super-moms go, she's got the market cornered. I am sure she can relate to the joys and pains of being a working mom, though I wouldn't want to be a governor. Heck then you would actually have to make tough decisions. Yikes!
I enjoy the fact that my toughest decision is whether to spank my kids or stick 'em in time out when they are naughty. I usually just weigh the severity and time limitations of their actions and spank 'em anyway. Yes, I am one of THOSE people. Call CPS!!
However I did turn up one distrubing note on her bio via the AP, and it is cause for concern in my mind. She was born in Sandpoint. But, then again that might make for some interesting things in the next four years if they get elected.
I was pretty excited to hear this, because she's from our state, and obviously well-educated, as I am certain the drinking age back then was 19! Hopefully she has a decent scrapbook from college so she can remember what she did (that's how I keep track of my five years, but moving on).
I think I'll share my blog with her though, as she just gave birth to her fifth child, a son, last April, WHILE being Governor of Alaska. So as super-moms go, she's got the market cornered. I am sure she can relate to the joys and pains of being a working mom, though I wouldn't want to be a governor. Heck then you would actually have to make tough decisions. Yikes!
I enjoy the fact that my toughest decision is whether to spank my kids or stick 'em in time out when they are naughty. I usually just weigh the severity and time limitations of their actions and spank 'em anyway. Yes, I am one of THOSE people. Call CPS!!
However I did turn up one distrubing note on her bio via the AP, and it is cause for concern in my mind. She was born in Sandpoint. But, then again that might make for some interesting things in the next four years if they get elected.
Wednesday, August 27, 2008
And the winner is...
Noodle! So here goes my blog with the word noodle:
Ten ways to use noodle in a sentence:
Use your noodle!
Why don't you noodle that around for awhile?
I am going to whip you with a wet noodle.
You should have seen his little noodle!!
Have you been to noodle.com? (honestly, I typed it in my browser and there IS a noodle.com)
Oops! I dropped a noodle in the sink.
The kids love swimming with a water noodle.
It was more limp than a wet noodle!
To test the done-ness of a noodle, throw it on the wall to see if it sticks. (courtesy of Mark)
My favorite noodle is fusili.
There! I have done it. Who knew noodle could be a noun, adjective, and verb?
I used NOODLE fifteen times. Take THAT Google AdSense!
Ten ways to use noodle in a sentence:
Use your noodle!
Why don't you noodle that around for awhile?
I am going to whip you with a wet noodle.
You should have seen his little noodle!!
Have you been to noodle.com? (honestly, I typed it in my browser and there IS a noodle.com)
Oops! I dropped a noodle in the sink.
The kids love swimming with a water noodle.
It was more limp than a wet noodle!
To test the done-ness of a noodle, throw it on the wall to see if it sticks. (courtesy of Mark)
My favorite noodle is fusili.
There! I have done it. Who knew noodle could be a noun, adjective, and verb?
I used NOODLE fifteen times. Take THAT Google AdSense!
Monday, August 25, 2008
Ah....summer in Sandpoint
What a weekend it was. It started off pretty fun, except for the fact that we scared the pants off our kids by taking them to see Wall-E, the latest Pixar movie. Mark and I enjoyed it, but the kids watched it through their fingertips for the most part. It was a fun family night anyway, Brady and I ate two bags of popcorn together, the kids sat on our laps, and Kaylee farted on me through most of the movie. Oh the joys of togetherness.
If you haven't seen the movie yet, word of caution: it has a social message and is not all that kid friendly. So I was enveloped in two forms of guilt: one for scaring my children and one for living in a world of complete and total gluttony. But I'm over it now. I watched the Olympics on Saturday afternoon and I don't feel so bad. Table tennis is an official sport of the Olympics. So if anyone should be ashamed of themselves, its the Olympic Committee.
I mean COME ON! How is it possible to medal in a sport that is easily played with large cups of beer on the corners? If you can drink WHILE PLAYING, it is NOT a sport. I did hear that badminton is also an olympic sport and while you can drink while playing, I do think it has a little more street cred as a difficult game to play while intoxicated. It is much more competitive than two people slapping a tiny ball across a net on a VERY small table.
And did anyone else watch the coverage of the gold medal match? It was two women from China (thankfully the USA had the decency to either lose early on or better yet not enter anyone into the sport) and the even stopped and showed things back to us in SLOW MOTION. As if it wasn't stupid enough watching these women sweat over a game best played in a college rec room, but then they replayed everything as slowly as possible so we wouldn't miss just how ridiculous this "sport" is. But the good thing was it was easy to see even these women, while Chinese, did struggle at times to keep a straight face.
So back to my original "Summer in Sandpoint" title. The reason I was able to watch the Olympics Saturday is because it was freakin' cold here this weekend. Fall has arrived folks. Guess I am going to have to double up on the happy pills to get through the next eight or nine months of crappy weather. Yee-haw!
And speaking of yee-haw, it warmed up enough Saturday afternoon to head to the "Bonner County Fair". The word fair conjured up images of flashy rides, elephant ears, creepy carnies and trailer homes on display in the exhibit area. Well, in Bonner County, our flashy rides are giant inflatable bouncy toys that kids pay $2 for five minutes of jumping and screaming. We do have the elephant ears, thank goodness. And the trailer homes are in the neighborhood across the street, but they aren't new and certainly shouldn't be on display.
And we do have carnies here, but they are our residents lining up in full force to watch the demolition derby, the most disgusting game that reinforces the fact that we are a culture of excess. Why on earth would a normal person want to watch a bunch of junker cars smash into each other for hours on end while consuming a minimum of 5 gallons of gas per lap around the track? I dunno, but I'll have to ask Mark since he was all fired up to line up with the rest of north Idaho's finest citizens and watch the derby.
However the other obstacle to watching the derby with small children (besides the obvious support for wasting a natural resource) was the noise pollution. So very loud and our children have a difficult enough time hearing us as it is. Last thing we need to do is damage their ear drums any further. See a previous post for a full discussion on listening issues with children. I think I solved the mystery.
In any event, life in north Idaho is, if anything, an adventure. I wonder if I lived anywhere else whether or not I would have so many things to make fun of?
If you haven't seen the movie yet, word of caution: it has a social message and is not all that kid friendly. So I was enveloped in two forms of guilt: one for scaring my children and one for living in a world of complete and total gluttony. But I'm over it now. I watched the Olympics on Saturday afternoon and I don't feel so bad. Table tennis is an official sport of the Olympics. So if anyone should be ashamed of themselves, its the Olympic Committee.
I mean COME ON! How is it possible to medal in a sport that is easily played with large cups of beer on the corners? If you can drink WHILE PLAYING, it is NOT a sport. I did hear that badminton is also an olympic sport and while you can drink while playing, I do think it has a little more street cred as a difficult game to play while intoxicated. It is much more competitive than two people slapping a tiny ball across a net on a VERY small table.
And did anyone else watch the coverage of the gold medal match? It was two women from China (thankfully the USA had the decency to either lose early on or better yet not enter anyone into the sport) and the even stopped and showed things back to us in SLOW MOTION. As if it wasn't stupid enough watching these women sweat over a game best played in a college rec room, but then they replayed everything as slowly as possible so we wouldn't miss just how ridiculous this "sport" is. But the good thing was it was easy to see even these women, while Chinese, did struggle at times to keep a straight face.
So back to my original "Summer in Sandpoint" title. The reason I was able to watch the Olympics Saturday is because it was freakin' cold here this weekend. Fall has arrived folks. Guess I am going to have to double up on the happy pills to get through the next eight or nine months of crappy weather. Yee-haw!
And speaking of yee-haw, it warmed up enough Saturday afternoon to head to the "Bonner County Fair". The word fair conjured up images of flashy rides, elephant ears, creepy carnies and trailer homes on display in the exhibit area. Well, in Bonner County, our flashy rides are giant inflatable bouncy toys that kids pay $2 for five minutes of jumping and screaming. We do have the elephant ears, thank goodness. And the trailer homes are in the neighborhood across the street, but they aren't new and certainly shouldn't be on display.
And we do have carnies here, but they are our residents lining up in full force to watch the demolition derby, the most disgusting game that reinforces the fact that we are a culture of excess. Why on earth would a normal person want to watch a bunch of junker cars smash into each other for hours on end while consuming a minimum of 5 gallons of gas per lap around the track? I dunno, but I'll have to ask Mark since he was all fired up to line up with the rest of north Idaho's finest citizens and watch the derby.
However the other obstacle to watching the derby with small children (besides the obvious support for wasting a natural resource) was the noise pollution. So very loud and our children have a difficult enough time hearing us as it is. Last thing we need to do is damage their ear drums any further. See a previous post for a full discussion on listening issues with children. I think I solved the mystery.
In any event, life in north Idaho is, if anything, an adventure. I wonder if I lived anywhere else whether or not I would have so many things to make fun of?
Wednesday, August 20, 2008
The FUN part of Google AdSense
As many of you know, I have allowed Google to place banner ads on my blog in the hopes that someone will click on them and make me some money. I check the ads from time to time to see what gets added to my site.
What I have discovered about the program is that it/they scan your blog for what I am going to refer to as "keywords" and then post ads based on those words. So imagine my surprise when I saw a link to a site for "Sexy Senior Singles". What the hell?!?!
I scratched my head for a few minutes thinking about what I possibly could have posted that would trigger a site for horny old people. Well, my last blog referred to "poker widows". Huh. So it didn't pick up cards, poker, etc and post links to online poker. Oh no, it grabbed the single and only mention of "widows" and added an ad for those hot & sexy senior singles lookin' for love. And a one night stand. But where were the ads for Viagra?
So I got to thinkin' that would it be FUN to see what kind of ads will get placed based on certain key words? At the right of this blog is my latest and greatest poll. You can vote for YOUR favorite key word and I'll use it as many times as possible in a blog to see what kinds of banner ads show up.
You'll notice that for the time being the ads are strictly for weight loss because in ONE blog I mentioned that I had gained a few pounds. I wonder, where are the ads for things like outdoor playsets, golf, prescription medications, ATVs, vacation deals or camping supplies. If I can get sexy senior singles with one mention of widow imagine what I could get with multiple mentions of things like, oh I dunno, "tits"?
And on that note, why no links to websites for plastic surgeons specializing in boob jobs?
What I have discovered about the program is that it/they scan your blog for what I am going to refer to as "keywords" and then post ads based on those words. So imagine my surprise when I saw a link to a site for "Sexy Senior Singles". What the hell?!?!
I scratched my head for a few minutes thinking about what I possibly could have posted that would trigger a site for horny old people. Well, my last blog referred to "poker widows". Huh. So it didn't pick up cards, poker, etc and post links to online poker. Oh no, it grabbed the single and only mention of "widows" and added an ad for those hot & sexy senior singles lookin' for love. And a one night stand. But where were the ads for Viagra?
So I got to thinkin' that would it be FUN to see what kind of ads will get placed based on certain key words? At the right of this blog is my latest and greatest poll. You can vote for YOUR favorite key word and I'll use it as many times as possible in a blog to see what kinds of banner ads show up.
You'll notice that for the time being the ads are strictly for weight loss because in ONE blog I mentioned that I had gained a few pounds. I wonder, where are the ads for things like outdoor playsets, golf, prescription medications, ATVs, vacation deals or camping supplies. If I can get sexy senior singles with one mention of widow imagine what I could get with multiple mentions of things like, oh I dunno, "tits"?
And on that note, why no links to websites for plastic surgeons specializing in boob jobs?
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