Today I learned a few new things:
1. Don't make chili the night before you go to the gym.
2. Sit ups make you fart.
3. Especially if you had chili the night before.
4. Never ever ever work out with your husband the day after you make chili.
5. Husbands will happily point out that you farted while doing sit ups.
6. Your personal trainer will not.
Monday, November 24, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
How to get kids to eat almost anything
With two little kids I have learned a thing or two about how to get them to eat things that they should but won't, simply because they know its good for them. Here's my fail-safe list:
1. Cheese - kids will eat almost anything when it is covered in cheese, including broccoli, green beans and brussel sprouts
2. Peanut butter - kids will eat things like apples and even celery when you put peanut butter on it. Add raisins and you can almost convince them its dessert!
3. Make faces with their food - arrange their food on their plate like a smiley face and they love it!
4. Let them "help you" make dinner. We let them set the table or pull the broccoli apart so we can steam it, little things like that and then they LIKE to eat what they helped to make.
5. Finger food - the kids favorite dinner is string cheese, grapes, bananas and whole wheat crackers, and only because it does not require the use of silverware to eat.
6. Breakfast for dinner - nothing says fun like whole wheat pancakes, bacon, eggs and fruit for DINNER!!
7. Quesadillas - they love these and mostly because there's cheese in them, but they sound exotic and exciting, not like "chicken" so they are more likely to eat them. I might try calling other foods fun and different names to see if that works.
While this is by no means a perfect list or a complete list, these tips do work for most children, and not surprisingly husbands too (except for the setting the table part).
I will say that one of the challenges of meals with little ones is their propensity to get up and leave the table. Can ADD be diagnosed at an early age? They are like little heat seeking missiles, drawn to their destination: a toy wedged beneath the couch cushion covered by a heaping pile of unfolded laundry. How DO they do it??
Getting them back to the table is very difficult once they leave. It usually involves threats of bodily harm, begging and eventually bribery. But what parent isn't above bribing their children with marshmallows?
Ah, the joys of mealtime....
1. Cheese - kids will eat almost anything when it is covered in cheese, including broccoli, green beans and brussel sprouts
2. Peanut butter - kids will eat things like apples and even celery when you put peanut butter on it. Add raisins and you can almost convince them its dessert!
3. Make faces with their food - arrange their food on their plate like a smiley face and they love it!
4. Let them "help you" make dinner. We let them set the table or pull the broccoli apart so we can steam it, little things like that and then they LIKE to eat what they helped to make.
5. Finger food - the kids favorite dinner is string cheese, grapes, bananas and whole wheat crackers, and only because it does not require the use of silverware to eat.
6. Breakfast for dinner - nothing says fun like whole wheat pancakes, bacon, eggs and fruit for DINNER!!
7. Quesadillas - they love these and mostly because there's cheese in them, but they sound exotic and exciting, not like "chicken" so they are more likely to eat them. I might try calling other foods fun and different names to see if that works.
While this is by no means a perfect list or a complete list, these tips do work for most children, and not surprisingly husbands too (except for the setting the table part).
I will say that one of the challenges of meals with little ones is their propensity to get up and leave the table. Can ADD be diagnosed at an early age? They are like little heat seeking missiles, drawn to their destination: a toy wedged beneath the couch cushion covered by a heaping pile of unfolded laundry. How DO they do it??
Getting them back to the table is very difficult once they leave. It usually involves threats of bodily harm, begging and eventually bribery. But what parent isn't above bribing their children with marshmallows?
Ah, the joys of mealtime....
Monday, November 17, 2008
Calgon Moment
Do you remember those commercials when we were kids? Stay at home moms with screaming children, broken dishwashers and husbands who weren't home to help would pause for a moment and think, "Calgon, take me away" and she would instantly be transported into a giant bathtub with candles, massive amounts of bubbles and very soft lighting. We never had a nice tub like that in my house so I always wondered where the hell mom went when she uttered those words.
I have had a few "Calgon" moments since becoming a mom. Once when Mark was working on a Saturday and I was home with both kids alone, Brady was about three months old and Kaylee nearly 2 1/2. Both were sleeping at the same time (amazing I know) but that also meant that they woke up at the same time. Crying. Screaming. Wiggling. And what do you do when the 2 1/2 year old has pooped her pants and the baby is hungry and crying and your boobs feel like they might explode? Well I tried the Calgon thing and it didn't work. So I changed Kaylee QUICKLY and then stuck the little dude on my breast. Problem solved.
Another time Mark had hurt his back golfing (yes, another attempt at recapturing his youth) and I had to take care of him while he laid on the floor, plus both kids. I swear all three of them were whining at the same time, each wanting food and none of them wanting the same thing. So of course I took care of the littlest one first and then went up from there.
Tonight was another Calgon moment. And I really don't know whats wrong with my children sometimes. I had one of those Mom of the Year evenings, I am sorry to report. We picked the kids up from daycare and brought them home. All was well until the garage opened and we pulled into the garage then all hell broke loose.
Brady wanted his shoes on (I took them off because he was kicking the daylights out of my seat in the van), Kaylee started crying because she thought she was being left alone. Kaylee went willingly into the house, Brady had a total cow because I didn't put his shoes on, and all I was going to have to do was take the damn things right back off.
He was crying and sobbing and then Kaylee went apeshit because we left her art at school. Both children, crying and laying in the middle of the floor, Mark standing there watching saying, "This is just great. Great."
I felt really bad because my laughing seemed to make the kids cry even harder, but I simply couldn't help myself. Calgon, where the hell are you?
I have had a few "Calgon" moments since becoming a mom. Once when Mark was working on a Saturday and I was home with both kids alone, Brady was about three months old and Kaylee nearly 2 1/2. Both were sleeping at the same time (amazing I know) but that also meant that they woke up at the same time. Crying. Screaming. Wiggling. And what do you do when the 2 1/2 year old has pooped her pants and the baby is hungry and crying and your boobs feel like they might explode? Well I tried the Calgon thing and it didn't work. So I changed Kaylee QUICKLY and then stuck the little dude on my breast. Problem solved.
Another time Mark had hurt his back golfing (yes, another attempt at recapturing his youth) and I had to take care of him while he laid on the floor, plus both kids. I swear all three of them were whining at the same time, each wanting food and none of them wanting the same thing. So of course I took care of the littlest one first and then went up from there.
Tonight was another Calgon moment. And I really don't know whats wrong with my children sometimes. I had one of those Mom of the Year evenings, I am sorry to report. We picked the kids up from daycare and brought them home. All was well until the garage opened and we pulled into the garage then all hell broke loose.
Brady wanted his shoes on (I took them off because he was kicking the daylights out of my seat in the van), Kaylee started crying because she thought she was being left alone. Kaylee went willingly into the house, Brady had a total cow because I didn't put his shoes on, and all I was going to have to do was take the damn things right back off.
He was crying and sobbing and then Kaylee went apeshit because we left her art at school. Both children, crying and laying in the middle of the floor, Mark standing there watching saying, "This is just great. Great."
I felt really bad because my laughing seemed to make the kids cry even harder, but I simply couldn't help myself. Calgon, where the hell are you?
Wednesday, November 12, 2008
Dr. Mom
Well it is that time of the year when the children, the little germ magnets they are, start bringing home the flu in bi-monthly intervals and never at the same time. As many of you know, cough and cold medicine has been banned for use with children under the age of 6 (or maybe its been moved up to 12 years now, I can't keep up).
So I have been trying to find different methods of keeping the kids from turning a harmless little cold into an ear and/or sinus infection. Not an easy prospect with little options on the shelf and the fact that all children under the age of 18 are not even remotely hygenic.
But I found a couple of things that work, and are so bizzare that I have to share them. Most of us are accustomed to slathering Vicks Vapo Rub on our chests to ease our sinuses, but did you know that if yuo rub it on your feet (or that of your highly ticklish child) and cover them with socks, it curbs your cough? I swore it was an old wives tale, and being an old wife myself I thought the theory was at least worth a shot. Especially considering Brady's cough kept the whole family awake!
I also read about reflexology for babies (now before you go think I am one of "those" people, STOP) and how you can rub their feet on the bottom and then their toes and that it eases their sinuses. I figured it couldn't hurt to do a little of both and see what happens. No joke, it worked.
There's also this stuff called "Simply Saline" that is basically saline pressurized so when you squirt it in your nose it gets where it needs to go. Guess I should have warned you not to read this while eating. My apologies. Both kids actually allow me to do this, Brady is more willing, Kaylee requires me to hold her down, but when you're pretty much immobile there's not much you can do.
So the next time you, your children or the whole damn family have a cold and you can't find anyting on the shelf, try rubbing your feet and chest with Vicks, putting on a thick pair of socks, squrint saline up your nostrils to get those boogies out, then curl up with some tea and breathe easier. You're gonna thank me!
So I have been trying to find different methods of keeping the kids from turning a harmless little cold into an ear and/or sinus infection. Not an easy prospect with little options on the shelf and the fact that all children under the age of 18 are not even remotely hygenic.
But I found a couple of things that work, and are so bizzare that I have to share them. Most of us are accustomed to slathering Vicks Vapo Rub on our chests to ease our sinuses, but did you know that if yuo rub it on your feet (or that of your highly ticklish child) and cover them with socks, it curbs your cough? I swore it was an old wives tale, and being an old wife myself I thought the theory was at least worth a shot. Especially considering Brady's cough kept the whole family awake!
I also read about reflexology for babies (now before you go think I am one of "those" people, STOP) and how you can rub their feet on the bottom and then their toes and that it eases their sinuses. I figured it couldn't hurt to do a little of both and see what happens. No joke, it worked.
There's also this stuff called "Simply Saline" that is basically saline pressurized so when you squirt it in your nose it gets where it needs to go. Guess I should have warned you not to read this while eating. My apologies. Both kids actually allow me to do this, Brady is more willing, Kaylee requires me to hold her down, but when you're pretty much immobile there's not much you can do.
So the next time you, your children or the whole damn family have a cold and you can't find anyting on the shelf, try rubbing your feet and chest with Vicks, putting on a thick pair of socks, squrint saline up your nostrils to get those boogies out, then curl up with some tea and breathe easier. You're gonna thank me!
Tuesday, November 11, 2008
Personal Trainer - takes 2 & 3
Friday I went back to the gym to work out again. By Friday morning I was still pretty sore, but at least I could sit down on the toilet, put my socks on and reach to the back seat to "whack a kid" who was being noisy in the car.
I felt like I could handle it, take my beating and be on with my day. I was soooooooo wrong. Did you know that you can actually work out so hard (lifting weights, not running) that you throw up? I did not know that, and had I known I am pretty sure I wouldn't have let The Devil punish me so much.
I can say that I didn't actually vomit (which would have been more embarassing than me just carrying the garbage can around "just in case") but man oh man did I come close several times.
I am pretty ashamed of myself for getting into this kind of shape. Honestly it is just amazing to me to look at my body now compared to ten years ago. Why oh why didn't I wear bikinis more???
The good news is that I tried hard no to slack off and I actually had the beginnings of that "runners high" that people talk about, where you actually feel GOOD after working out, not wishing you were on a stretcher.
I did some little things over the weekend, lunges, stretching, etc and was ready to go yesterday. I ate right, I even washed my workout gear, I was mentally prepared to really push myself. And then our trainer "forgot" and never showed up.
So I felt a little guilty for staying and working out instead of heading back to the office, but I did go through with a workout and pushed myself as much as I could without barfing. However, I guess I didn't do a good enough job. If the measure of how hard I worked is whether or not I can sit on the toilet, then I did a pretty crappy job by myself.
I felt like I could handle it, take my beating and be on with my day. I was soooooooo wrong. Did you know that you can actually work out so hard (lifting weights, not running) that you throw up? I did not know that, and had I known I am pretty sure I wouldn't have let The Devil punish me so much.
I can say that I didn't actually vomit (which would have been more embarassing than me just carrying the garbage can around "just in case") but man oh man did I come close several times.
I am pretty ashamed of myself for getting into this kind of shape. Honestly it is just amazing to me to look at my body now compared to ten years ago. Why oh why didn't I wear bikinis more???
The good news is that I tried hard no to slack off and I actually had the beginnings of that "runners high" that people talk about, where you actually feel GOOD after working out, not wishing you were on a stretcher.
I did some little things over the weekend, lunges, stretching, etc and was ready to go yesterday. I ate right, I even washed my workout gear, I was mentally prepared to really push myself. And then our trainer "forgot" and never showed up.
So I felt a little guilty for staying and working out instead of heading back to the office, but I did go through with a workout and pushed myself as much as I could without barfing. However, I guess I didn't do a good enough job. If the measure of how hard I worked is whether or not I can sit on the toilet, then I did a pretty crappy job by myself.
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