Monday, November 17, 2008

Calgon Moment

Do you remember those commercials when we were kids? Stay at home moms with screaming children, broken dishwashers and husbands who weren't home to help would pause for a moment and think, "Calgon, take me away" and she would instantly be transported into a giant bathtub with candles, massive amounts of bubbles and very soft lighting. We never had a nice tub like that in my house so I always wondered where the hell mom went when she uttered those words.

I have had a few "Calgon" moments since becoming a mom. Once when Mark was working on a Saturday and I was home with both kids alone, Brady was about three months old and Kaylee nearly 2 1/2. Both were sleeping at the same time (amazing I know) but that also meant that they woke up at the same time. Crying. Screaming. Wiggling. And what do you do when the 2 1/2 year old has pooped her pants and the baby is hungry and crying and your boobs feel like they might explode? Well I tried the Calgon thing and it didn't work. So I changed Kaylee QUICKLY and then stuck the little dude on my breast. Problem solved.

Another time Mark had hurt his back golfing (yes, another attempt at recapturing his youth) and I had to take care of him while he laid on the floor, plus both kids. I swear all three of them were whining at the same time, each wanting food and none of them wanting the same thing. So of course I took care of the littlest one first and then went up from there.

Tonight was another Calgon moment. And I really don't know whats wrong with my children sometimes. I had one of those Mom of the Year evenings, I am sorry to report. We picked the kids up from daycare and brought them home. All was well until the garage opened and we pulled into the garage then all hell broke loose.

Brady wanted his shoes on (I took them off because he was kicking the daylights out of my seat in the van), Kaylee started crying because she thought she was being left alone. Kaylee went willingly into the house, Brady had a total cow because I didn't put his shoes on, and all I was going to have to do was take the damn things right back off.

He was crying and sobbing and then Kaylee went apeshit because we left her art at school. Both children, crying and laying in the middle of the floor, Mark standing there watching saying, "This is just great. Great."

I felt really bad because my laughing seemed to make the kids cry even harder, but I simply couldn't help myself. Calgon, where the hell are you?


Sunlover Mom said...

Every house should have a basement. You go downstairs, scream at the top of your lungs and instantly feel so much better! Silly, too, but maybe that's part of it. It gets the kids' attention, too, and they temporarily knock off whatever the hell it was that was so irritating that caused you to scream in the first place. It's a win-win!

Sarah said...

Oh Amy! I know just what you mean. I've had days just like that myself. Sometimes I think it's just me and my kids who have those kinds of days! I don't know how you keep it all, work, church, etc. I'm so happy to see that you haven't given up your sense of humor! :) Miss you!

la maestra said...

Oh the fun and games I have to look forward to. I love reading your's so freaking honest and fun. Let's get together FOR REALS soon! This time I won't bag out at the last second- promise!