Monday, July 19, 2010

One syllable, or two?

I can always tell when all hell is about to break loose in my house based on the way the kids stretch certain one syllable words in to two.

Example #1:  "No!"  becomes "Noah" 
     From another room I will hear the children playing, happily, which I know in my gut will last no longer than 5 minutes.  There's a minor back and forth disagreement about where Barbie should sleep and then I hear this:  "Brother!  No-ah!"  Translation:  Brady, I am gonna do what I wanna do so you can piss off.  And you better duck because there's a smack-down coming.

Example #2:  "Mom" becomes "Mo-Om"
     In the distance I hear the tell tale thumps, thwacks and smacks.  I feel a storm brewing and then I hear a loud THUD or SLAP following by screaming from one child, the other saying "Mo-Om".  Translation:  Mom, I messed up and made my brother/sister cry but I'm gonna make damn sure I say whatever I can to make you think it was his/her fault so I don't get stuck in the corner.

Example #3:  "Hey" becomes "Hey-ah"
     Usually this one is outside, though I did just hear it from the upstairs moments ago.  Generally there's been a binding verbal agreement to pursue one form of entertainment, in this case it was playing barbies & cars in the same room.  You know, separate but equal.  Eventually one of them tires of the arrangement and breaks said contract.  Then there's the "Hey-ah" when it has been discovered that said agreement has been terminated and one of them has been left alone.  Usually followed by a loud thud and "Mo-Om!"

Example #4:  "Fine" becomes "FINE-AH!"
  Once again, this is usually a final acceptance of something that was originally displeasing to the child.  Sometimes this is said when I've won the war on teeth brushing "Fine-ah, I WILL!" but most often there's a series of events that results in this most final of word wars. 
     First I hear "No-Ah!" because one of them has changed their minds and the other one isn't quite sold on the new idea, which then results in the typical thud/smack/slap combo at the end of which I hear "Mo-Om!" and an immediate explanation to draw any suspicion away from the child NOT screaming and writhing in pain.
      After I explain I am not a referee and tell them to work it out on their own, I usually have about 90 seconds of peace when I hear "Hey-ah!" because the one child who was just deflecting judgement onto the screaming child has suddenly decided it is in his/her best interest to go along with the screaming child. 
     Then the screaming child says "Fine-ah" in total, albeit grudging acceptance, of the current state of affairs.  Crisis averted, ten more minutes of peace.

1 comment:

Allison @ Alli 'n Son said...

Ha! So very true. Especially No-Oh. I hear that every single second of every single day. No, I'm not exaggerating.