Thursday, August 26, 2010

Open Letter to Sock Manufacturers

Dear Sock Makers,

Recently our family purchased socks from an unamed clothing manufacturer, and much to my dismay, each and every sock is designated for either the left foot or right foot.

May I respectfully ask you WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?  For anyone who is borderline OCD, anal-rententive,  or a stay at home mom with nothing better to do, or the deadly combo of all three (which accurately describes me) this is the meanest thing you could have ever done.

First of all, I am compelled to sort through the pile of laundry to create separate stacks of socks with an L, and socks with an R.  And if they are different colors, there are even more piles.  And this takes a long time I have to tell you.

And THEN I am guilt-ridden when I don't do it, and I marinate in my guilt until I do laundry again and can sort them and match them PROPERLY.  And I don't always have the time to match them, so you can imagine how much my therapy bill will be when I cannot take it anymore.

Secondly, are you NOT aware that socks get eaten by the dryer?  So, if a sock with an L goes missing, I cannot possibly keep the matching one with an R because unless it has its match I can't put it together with another sock WITHOUT a letter on it.  That would be crazy. 

And I can't keep a sock without a mate laying around in the off chance that the dryer eats the R of another pair thus having a match.  It just isn't right to keep socks in the drawer without a mate.  I mean REALLY.

Finally, have you ever tried to convince a four year old that their left foot is really their right foot?  And then spent an entire day knowing that their socks are on the WRONG FEET?  Horrible, it's just horrible.

So please, dear sock makers, for my sanity and the sanity of thousands of others like me, please discontinue the practice of sewing the L and the R on your socks. 

PS:  Did you know you CAN wear them on the wrong foot and they are still perfectly comfortable?  Why the hell do you need the letters on there?  I just don't get it.

1 comment:

la maestra said...

You made mocha dribble out of my nose. I blame you for the twang in my nasal passage. It was YOU who made me snort/laugh while reading this post.