Is someone trying to tell me something?

So here's my day so far:

The kids were both up at the butt crack of dawn today and therefore went apeshit during the morning routine. If one wasn't crying, it was the other one. And we did THE SAME DAMN THINGS WE DO EVERY DAY!

Then I spilled coffee all over my pants (but didn't notice until about 5 minutes before my luncheon) and had giant wet spots on them from trying to clean them in the bathroom.

Minutes before leaving for the luncheon, I was informed that the passenger window on the driver's side of my luxurious mini van was busted out by what appears to be either a giant (and now probably injured bird) or a baseball bat.

During lunch the internet didn't work for my keynote speaker who also had food poisoning and thought she was going to barf.

The sound system at the lunch didn't work so I ended up using my middle school teacher voice instead of the mic, but then they fixed the mic and I forgot to tone down my voice and pretty much blew everyone out of the room with the obnoxious sound of my voice.

I am also unable to have my window repaired because the vandals (or the bird) were an hour late in smashing it in so the window won't be here until tomorrow.

I couldn't get photos to email to the Spokesman to swap out in an ad with a 2 pm deadline

In the midst of trying to send the photos the police came to take my report on the mini van incident so I am not sure my changes were made.

The only way my day will improve is if thunderstorms cancel Kaylee's final tball game so we can just go straight to the pizza and beer. I really need a beer. Now.