Monday, August 24, 2009

The Big Debate

Thankfully this isn't a debate in our household, but if it were I would have a LOT to say about it. First, a little background on the discussion (and I am sorry Mark you will not be happy about this post!!). I have been asking, literally begging to have another baby. You see, I've got the fever and the only cure is another pooping, crying, sleeping & eating machine that weighs 9 lbs at birth. Or so I thought.

Recently we decided to look into enrolling Kaylee in a private school, which comes with a hefty pricetag. Then I had another epiphany yesterday after catching my three year old son in a big ol' lie: someday soon I will have two teenagers. I don't think I'll have the strength to survive more than that. While I love babies and small children, as a former secondary educator I can say with 100% certainty that I would not want three teenagers in my home at one time. Nuff said.

Since we weren't 100% sure if we'd want a third little tax deduction, we put another method of pregnancy prevention in place until we could decide for sure. Mark the math whiz and financial guru decided LONG ago that we were done. Me, it took a little while longer. Now, I honestly don't know what scares me more, the cost of private school for two kids or the thought of three teenagers, but in any event I have finally come around to his way of thinking.

Needless to say, Mark's first words were: "I better get this done before you change your mind." So last night we did some research on the dreaded V: vasectomy. For a guy who volunteered to have one performed weeks after delivering our second child, I did find it amusing that he didn't know how to spell it! Anyhoozer.....

We googled Vasectomy and the FIRST SPONSORED LINK WAS THIS:
Don't Get A
Essure® is Perm BC You Can Trust Without Cutting or Going Under

I knew immediately that this would be some other kind of torture for a woman to go through to avoid a man having to have their little boy parts fiddled with, and I was right! The HOME PAGE of this website is dedicated to the benefits of why this procedure is SO MUCH better than a vasectomy for a male. Check this out:

I decided to do a little research because I was 100% certain this would have been invented by a man, and yes, it was. After all, why on earth would a female MD invent yet another procedure for a woman to endure so a man would yet again not need to bear the responsibility of birth control?

After all, let's take a look at the options a man has for prevention: rubbers & vasectomy
Women: the pill, hormone shots, IUDs, tubal ligation, diaphragm, cervical cap....and I could go on. Hmmm.......coincidence? I think not. If you don't believe me, google it!

I think by far the most disturbing part of the whole website is the comparison it draws to the vasectomy. You have to check it out, but honestly it was like "oh poor fella, he'll be sore for a few days and have to squirt in a cup a few times, which is actually a bonus I think, after all they get a chance to spank the money AND look at porn for a valid reason. It's like a get out of jail free card!

Never mind the 9 + months that a woman's body is invaded by an alien species, the barfing, weight gain, breast feeding, recovery, etc. Literally for nearly two years your body is NOT your own. I think it's okay for a dude to have some "slight discomfort" for a few days. After all, three days of icing the old giggle berries beats three more years of finding excuses to disappear when there's a diaper full of shit just waiting to be changed.


la maestra said...

Stinkin' men!

And when it's done remind him of how you pushed a watermelon out of your hoo hoo, and had baby aligators chomp your che-chees.

Then laugh a little more while he continues to whimper.

Darcy said...

OMIGOD, they are such wimps aren't they!!!
Your blog has me dying today!!!

Sunlover Mom said...

Someone said giving birth is like trying to squirt a watermelon out of your nose. Frankly, I think that understates it a tad.

Crikey - a few days of whining and moaning after a guy gets clipped doesn't come close.

Offer to do it yourself.