39 + 1

Tomorrow, Nov. 9, is my 40th birthday.  I had planned to run 13.1 before 11am so I could cross "run a half marathon before I turn 40" of my runner's wish list.  But I realized after my bout with the flu (so bad I thought they might admit me to the hospital almost two weeks ago) that it was just that:  a wish.

It was a goal, but a wishful one at that.  I realized that running that 13.1 on a deadline makes as much sense as me entering the Miss America pageant.  None. What. So. Ever. 

I can run 13.1 anytime I want.  Anytime I want that is, when I am healthy.  I'm not.  Despite every effort I've made for almost 4 months to pretend that I am fine and good as new, I'm simply not.  And all that caught up to me in the most frightening way on October 28.

So for my 40th birthday I think I might get up early.  I'll run, make no mistake about that.  But I'll run a quiet 3-4 miles and just enjoy the run.  No pushing it, no worrying about my speed, my splits or average pace.  No, I won't even use my Nike +.  I'll just plug in the tunes and call it good.

After that, I probably won't think anything more about it being my birthday.  I'll be getting ready to celebrate another birthday: the inaugural Cause + Event Portland race on Sunday.  To be honest, I'm more excited about seeing the race than about celebrating my big 4-0.

Not that I'm bummed about turning forty, quite the opposite actually.  I'm healthier, fitter, and more active than I've ever been in my life.  I feel better about myself than I did a year ago.  I feel confident (like I could launch a nonprofit and a national race series confident) and that confidence has proven me to be right.  So far.

I'm ready to put a lid on my thirties.  As I've said they were some of the best and also some of the worst years of my life.  I'm embracing 40 with everything I am.  I look forward to being 40-something.  I'm gonna kick 40's ass.  Just sayin'. 

For the last remaining hours of my 30s I don't have much planned.  Gonna kiss my kids before I go to bed, have a snack and talk to my husband.  And tomorrow, I'll wake up and be 40 and life will go on, like it always does.