Yep - I went there. Again. Online dating sites. I discovered that I can pop on, see if I like the app, see if there is anyone interesting and then delete the app if I'm not feeling it. For the record, I have YET to "feel it". I have yet to stay on an app for more than 30 minutes.
Online dating is not for me.
Let me break it down for you, app by app:
Our Time - supposedly the site for mature (over 50) adults. Once I got in there, it read like an advertisement for burial services. I am not even kidding. I think I lasted 30 minutes tops on that one. Not one single dude on there did NOT look like my grandpa. It was like a catalog of card carrying AARP members. And then I think to myself, these guys (not all but a lot of them) are MY AGE. Do I now look like my grandma too???? I peaced out on that shiz real quick.
Bumble - I tried this one because a friend recommended it. As the woman, I get to make the first move. I like that because I don't have to delete Creepy McCreepersons who make lewd comments on my pictures (or just clueless ones) like on Hinge. But, like some of the other apps you have to PAY $$ to see who "likes" you which is lame because I'm really not that invested in this whole online dating thing anyway. Like I'm going to pay money only to find out it's Chester the Molester gawking at my pics. I bounced pretty quickly on that one too.
Match.com - This was the third app of the evening in a span of about two hours. I liked the filters I could use to search and I also liked that there was a larger selection of men on there versus the other apps. But, once again, I was getting messages but unless I'm willing to pony up $19.99 I can't see who it was. The worst thing was...I saw someone I know.
Yet again, someone who knows my kids' dad and HIS WHOLE FAMILY. (Different than the last one, but that guy was also on this app, too). And neither of these two guys are someone I WOULD EVER WANT TO DATE.
I started to notice many familiar faces from app to app to app as well. I shut Match.com down as fast as I did the married guy that started messaging me on LinkedIn on Friday night.
Guess I am not the only one who has used that site to try & hook up!! OMG!
So the married guy. Let me just say this, I had been having a glass of wine or two so I didn't clue in right away what was happening until he asked me about lingerie and women in their 50's. Sobered me up quick.
Let me break it down for you like this:
1. I know he is married so that is a HAAAAARD pass
2. He's like 13 years younger with school-age kiddos (and I'm therefore old enough to be his mother)
AND
3. Not even if he were the last man on the planet. Period.
I could not take enough showers this weekend to wash that filth off. I typed every barfing emoji to the friends I told about the situation to make it clear that I was grossed out.
Someone asked if maybe I misinterpreted him. But when he asked me about women in their 50s and lingerie not only was I sure I wasn't misinterpreting things, but I then told him that women in our 50s are all sweat pants aaaallllll the time. I was just trying to throw water on that fire he was trying (completely unsuccessfully) to start.
And I thought to myself, is this what dating is going to be like now? With social media and smart phones am I going to be grossed out constantly?? I really think that the dating app thing is just NOT FOR ME. But then, how will I meet someone? I've got kids, a job that I'm learning and my MBA to finish. Where would I even find anyone?? I guess I'm cool with a set up as long as he comes with good references. And, I will check them.
22 years ago when I was dating and got married we did not have all this "new fangled technology" that I think emboldens total perverts to be extra gross. Then I wonder, were dudes always like this but I didn't know because it's easier to be nasty with a cell phone & a messaging app than to talk nasty to an actual person?
I just don't know and I am totally unprepared for this new world in which I am living: single at almost 50 in a very digital age.
Oh, before I forget I also tried Tinder. Same dudes as all the other apps (with a few additional freaks thrown in and an ass-ton of acronyms and slang that I had to google). Once again, I'd have to pay money to find out who "liked me", and once again, I'm just not that into online dating, or maybe just dating in general.
I deleted Tinder too after seeing about the same dozen faces I'd seen on the other apps who meet my very narrow (apparently) criteria in a man. (once again, same two dudes that know my former husband and all of his family were on Tinder. I can't escape!!!)
I guess maybe I need to move out of state...
I also think, if I'm being honest, that I'm hoping that maybe "football game guy" might be someone I can hang with, though I am terrified of rejection. After getting a divorce, losing my job, and then interviewing for several jobs I'm not sure how much more rejection a girl can take! But, if you know me, you know we'll find out. When I want something, I go after it.
The bottom line here friends is this: dating apps are not for me. They probably never will be. So, if you know someone tall, dark, handsome, single, and not gross keep me in mind. As I said, I'm cool with a setup. Or a meet-cute. Whatever, as long as there is no technology involved, I think I'm good.
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