Other duties as assigned

Everyone has "other duties as assigned" in their job description. EVERYONE. Usually it means minor things like taking your turn making coffee, running errands on occasion, filling in at a high level meeting for your boss that you know nothing about and look like a dweeb because you can't answer anyone's questions, stuff like that.

For me, as a nonprofit employee/executive it has meant a few things over the past year like unplugging toilets in the visitor's center, cleaning up vomit in the bathroom of aforementioned visitor center and most recently bailing out the office during the "big leak" of 2009.

Last Friday, by far, takes the cake. As the glacier covering the park where our office is located gently receded we started to notice a lot of trash strewn about the place. I don't know if people are really that stupid that they think by tossing their crap in the snow that it too, will melt and disappear, or if they are just assholes that don't know any better. I am going with the latter on this one.

Anyhoo, when the last of the snow finally disappeared (until this morning but that isssue will be added to my venting machine later) lots and lots of trash was left behind. I figured that since we are seeing more visitors we should probably go ahead and clean the place up. I grabbed some rubber gloves (thankfully) and a big orange garbage bag. The only thing missing? An orange vest with the word "inmate" on it.

Another gal from the office and I filled up a giant orange bag with garbage. Among the items recovered: a plastic paint bucket, enough cigarette butts to lay end to end around the freaking earth, empty potato chip packages, a sock, a rubber glove and my personal favorite: a used condom.

Yes folks, you heard that right: a used condom. I can kind of understand the cigarette butts (people with no brains throw them out of their windows all the time), and I suppose some of the other stuff like a sock (maybe they left it on the car roof or something) and the paint bucket could have fallen out of the back of the truck.

But I really cannot grasp why in the hell I would find a used condom on the side of the road along highway 95. I am trying reeeaaaaalllllyyyyyyy hard not to let my imagination get the best of me on this one. I wish there was a brain eraser that I could scrub my memory with. Then again, maybe Xanax and wine would do the trick. Anyone know where I can find some?