Shock and Awe

I am about to change my blog title to Bliss, Chaos and Poop since it appears that recently poop is the number one topic, aside from clandestine sex. What happened last night is WAAAAY funnier, and slightly more disturbing, than my friend's camper trailer being sex-christened by someone else.

We live on an acre, in Sagle, with lots and lots of trees. When Brady was potty training he would frequently pee his pants because he didn't want to stop playing to go all the way in the house to use the toilet. After all, that would interfere in what he was doing.

After a couple of wet pants incidents we decided that since he is, after all, a boy, that it would be acceptable to pee outside in an emergency situation. So now he pretty much waters the weeds anytime we are outside. Might I say that we have been VERY CLEAR that he is only to do this at home, not at school, the park or anyone's else's house, unless they say it's okay.

Last night Brady said "I need to pee in the woods!" So I said "Go for it!" I saw him standing there with his little dingaling and looked away for what was a matter of three seconds. I heard him say "Mom! I got poop on my underwear!"

I leisurely strolled over thinking I might find some skid marks or something. Nope, fresh. So I asked him, "did you toot and a little poop came out?" He said "yeah, I tooted and just some poop came out" as if he was trying to convince himself that was all it was.

He pulled his pants up, and as he did so, I realized that while he was standing there and peeing, when he "tooted" he basically rocket propelled a terd right out of his butt that was just sitting right there on the side of the driveway, steaming and attracting flies, as poop usually does.

My first reaction was one of complete and total shock. Then awe, as it appears that the little guy is doing a great job ingesting fiber in his diet. Then I was kind of angry because who poops outside in their own driveway anyway??? Finally, I just started laughing uncontrollably because, quite frankly, the whole situation is really hilarious.

So I guess I have the "Phantom Pooper" and the "If I Have to do it I'll do it anywhere no matter how inappropriate it is Pooper." Lucky me. Isn't life grand?