Tuesday, June 22, 2010

I don't get paid enough for this job

As I walked through Winco foods yesterday with my children who have never, ever behaved worse in the store than they did yesterday (see this post about the time they tipped a grocery cart over so you can get a feel for how horrible they were: http://blissandchaos.blogspot.com/2009/09/children-for-sale-two-for-one-special.html) I thought to myself, "I do NOT get paid enough for this job."

And no, of course I make no money as a housewife, and never having had the prestigious opportunity to stay home with my children it has been quite an adjustment for me, and apparently the kids as well.  But really, is it too much to ask?

$5 for every time they got out of the cart and ran around it, getting in the way of several non-English speaking shoppers who, thankfully, did not understand the swear words coming out of my mouth.

$10 for every look of sympathy I got from the sweet old man Kaylee cut off while selecting our shopping cart for the day.  I saw him over and over again and he just LOOKED like he felt sorry for me.

$25 for every time I pinched the kids for their misbehavior (it sure as hell beats being one of "those" mothers in the store who actually spanks her kids)

$50 for THIS button in the bathroom, at EYE level to my children, and note Kaylee CAN read:


If my math is correct, that would be about $315, which more than covers the cost of my $100 grocery bill, but the leftovers, well, not nearly enough to compensate me for my humiliation.  One hour and 5 minutes of sheer terror, frustration and complete and utter senseless behavior from my children.  I am never EVER taking them shopping again. 

Have I said that before?

And in case you think I am overexaggerating my experiences, here's the evidence to prove that I am not.  This is my recycle basket:

I sooooo need a job.






10 comments:

Anonymous said...

I think this sums up my day yesterday at Walmart in Sandpoint. I was actually thinking I knew what the mother who spanked her child on video in the walmart parking lot was going through (not that I did that, but I sure wanted to!).

thanks for the sanity Amy-

Lisa Ailport

Anonymous said...

Wow... This is what I hear: Poor me, poor me, poor me, blah, blah, blah, whine, whine, whine, victim, victim, victim.

Parenthood is NOT a job, it's privilage, one you obviously don't cherish. The payment you are looking for will never come in the form of a dollar amount - if that's what you're looking for, you will be emotionally poor, a victim your whole life, and your kids will suffer indefinitely.

Perhaps instead of complaining about the trivial things that poor little you have to endure - look at what you do have, that others would LOVE to experience, slap yourself in the face, and do something valuable with your time on earth.

Complaining about YOUR beautiful children that YOU gave birth to, YOU raised & educated, and that YOU are responsible for (including their behavior, and that of your own), makes YOU look like an ass to the rest of the world. Wake up or shut up.

Amy Little said...

WOW anonymous, thanks for having the balls to sign your name! Oh and by the way, perhaps you can find your sense of humor and then get back to me? If you knew me at all, or at the very least had any sort of a sense of humor you would know how much I love my children, cherish my time with them and that this posting was 100% tongue in cheek. Find a hobby and quit reading my blog because if you can't laugh at silly stuff, then you have no business reading or commenting on my posts. I can name you at least 2 dozen other people who get it and know that this is about having a laugh to keep your sanity. In other words, piss off.

Amy Little said...

Oh and by the way "anonymous" I recently became a stay at home mom after wishing and wanting it for years. I am adjusting to it, as would anyone, and if I need to crack a few jokes and over exaggerate some stuff just to ease my stress level then I reserve the right. You do not reserve the right to judge me "anonymously" without knowing me or walking in my shoes. Really, I think you can buy a personality and a sense of humor at www.ineedahobbybecauseihavenothingbettertodothanbeanasshole.com. Good luck.

Jill Pittmann said...

Dear Anonymous,
Thank you for helping us to realize how incredibly awful it must be to live without a sense of humor, so full of judgement and hatred for those we either don't know, or won't admit to knowing because we're embarrassed of our own bitterness...I haven't seen my friend Amy in years and when I read her blog tonight -I laughed, and laughed..and realized just how much I've missed Amy. She is NONE of the things you said, and all things it seems you could only hope to be. As I laughed out loud at the blog, I read the posts to my boyfriend who laughed right along with me. You see, even one who doesn't know Amy could see that she was having fun with a stressul situation. I don't know if you've ever tried that, but when you have some time, you might want to give it a shot. You might surprise yourself at just how good it feels to take yourself a little less seriously. Laughter IS the best medicine. Good Luck.

And Amy - thank you - for the laughs and for being you. Keep 'em coming!!!

Mom That Makes Cents said...

CLEARLY this person doesn't know you and has no reason to read this blog. It's a joke. Hello? Heard of of those? Don't come back here, you hear? You aren't welcome.

Sunlover Mom said...

Whooooeeee! Who knew your blog would create such an interesting reaction. I know what a terrific mom you are - and you use humor to vent. Someone needs to get a life. I wonder if they HAVE kids...

Having said that, your experience is EXACTLY why I did my grocery shopping at night when I could leave the house and you kids in it with your DAD to do my grocery shopping! It was deliciously peaceful. Try it - you'll like it!

I'm proud of you and what a great mom you are. I love ya, gal.
Ma

Anonymous said...

Okay, it just took me until now to figure out that possibly anyone could access your blog... that it wasn't necessarily someone who knows you...

Anyway, remember what I said - they deserve to be bitch slapped! I love your blog and I know you love your children - I love my five "kids" and we ALL KNOW they are enough to make folks have roast parrot and grilled pup for dinner. At least you're not talking about having your kids for dinner Hannibal :-) Keep the blog coming -- I need to read it more!!!!

I'm so excited I just figured out how to post... cruious if this shows who this is or if any idiot can just post and it comes up anonymous although I know you know who I am :-) Hang in there Amy!!!

~T.

Anonymous said...

I understand exactly how difficult it is shopping with children. My sweetie pie who is five with ADHD has to stay in the cart or she is all over the place. Now she's almost too big to squeeze in the cart and once she doesn't fit, I'm going to have to shop at a time when there is someone else to watch her because it is just too difficult and stressful to take her along when I can't control her.

As for not being paid enough for this job, there was a segment on the news last month about how much stay at home mothers would make if they were paid for each of the jobs they regularly do. It was something like $69,000 a year.

And to whoever anonymously posted that nasty note above... Unbelievable. Do you even have children? It doesn't sound like it to me. Is there a parent out there who hasn't gone through what Amy has at the grocery store at least once?

I am reading this blow a year past the writing of this--I just discovered this wonderful blog--but I can identify so well that I thought I'd comment anyway.

Lisa Okyay

joseph byington said...

the other day i was at the park and i was wondering why the frisbee was getting bigger as it was getting closer than it hit me :p