Monday, April 7, 2014
Detox – Day 1
The first thing I did was remove Facebook from my cell phone yesterday around lunchtime. It felt amazing. It was as if I had suddenly been relieved of a giant responsibility, a chore, an item on my daily to-do list that I was just sick of doing. Granted, this “to-do” is one that orchestrated for myself all on my own.
But I felt relieved nonetheless.
Suddenly I didn’t have the urge to take my phone to the restroom and check my page while I peed. (yes, I realize how awful that must seem, but I assure you I am not even remotely exaggerating.)
It felt so good to realize I didn’t have the urge to pick up my damn phone every five minutes to see if I missed anything. Because guess what? I probably did miss something, but I didn’t miss being in the loop. And that was HUGE.
But I can’t lie. I feel like a hypocrite. Just a little bit. Except I keep reminding myself that I’m not on Facebook for 30 days because I think it’s bad. I am taking a break because it’s bad for ME.
I have a cheating heart of sorts because I kept my one super-secret account, the one that has no friends, that will NEVER have any friends (the loneliest Facebook account ever) so I can continue to use Facebook in my work and volunteer life.
You see, I have two pages that I admin, and a book page for the day when I actually have time to write my book, which looks like will be somewhere around, oh I don’t know, maybe NEVER.
So in a way I feel like I’m working the system, but I’m really not. What I AM doing is just selfishly promoting my own interests. Which, let’s be real here, is exactly what I was doing before, but under the guise of just being connected to a global community.
Now, it’s just out in the open. I’m a shameless self-promoter. I feel somewhat liberated.
The moment that I hit deactivate on my account this morning, as anticlimactic as it was, I felt the urge to post on my Facebook page: “Just deleted my account. Man that feels good.” I’m not even making that up.
Then later this morning I heard about a situation at school with my daughter and I wanted to post something snarky, passive aggressive and very “double birds-ish” without being too obvious.
Then I remembered I couldn’t and I was ever-so-thankful to have removed that option. Nothing like stepping in a pile of shit you created all by yourself.
I did have one moment of “I will not have a clue what’s going on out there” as I saw several Facebook posts relating to the 3.3 earthquake we had last night as I prepared to deactivate.
I also realized that surely the TV news picked that story up (along with well, most other newsy things), and in the scheme of things it isn’t really something I need to know about and I clicked the “deactivate” button with little to no feeling at all.
I sent a simple text to my husband that read simply: Done.
He knew what I meant, as his reply was “Free at last!!!” and mine was a simple “Free at last” right back.
And that’s how I feel right now.
And it feels amazing.