Sunday, August 28, 2011

Is it right to say to a 6 year old "Are you freaking kidding me?"

I remember when I was little, I was not allowed to call on the phone, or physically go visit a friend until after 10am.  10am has always been my mental guideline for releasing the children into the wild.  Maybe 10am was our barometer simply because that was about the time that my mom finished her coffee, the newspaper and a shower and was thus ready for whatever it was we would dish out.

This morning, however, as I was pouring my first cup of coffee, that sweet, blessed nectar of the Gods, I heard that little door knocker thingy on our front door.  Tap.  Tap tap tap.  Tap tap.  TAP!  Seriously, give a woman more than 10 seconds to get to the door for Pete's sake. 

Mind you, I've been up since 6 when my five year old crawled into bed with his icy-cold toes attached to my thigh because he was "cold" in his own bed, and I managed to amble out of bed at 7, but my hair looks like a bristle brush and I haven't brushed my teeth.  The LAST thing I'm interested in, is answering the door.  Thank GOD I was wearing a sweater to cover my boobs, I"m still in my PJs!!!!!!!!

I cracked the door open, and this sweet little 6 year old neighbor boy face says "Can Kaylee and Brady play?"  DAMN, before I could say no and shut the door my kids came running over to see who it was.  ALLEGEDLY we're going to church today, but if Mr. Sleeps-a-lot doesn't get up we won't make it in time.  So I told the kids no and sent them back to watch Thomas the Tank Engine.  They didn't complain TOO much, but I bet if they saw the scooter race in progess on our street they would be singing a different tune.

But honestly, 8am?  If his mother knew he came down here I KNOW she would be absolutely mortified!  Just like I would be.  And am, because I'm pretty sure that sweet little neighbor heard me say, as I bolted the door, "Are you freaking kidding me?"