Jack of All Trades, Master of None

Further evidence that I have not one skill that I do overly well, but rather several that I can complete half-assed, today for an hour I re-painted several sections of my building that were damaged during flood-gate 2009.

And on the day the roof nearly caved in, I spent the better part of that day moving furniture and bailing out a 55 gallon garbage can. So, do you think these are skills or talents that should be listed on my resume?

I guess when I signed up for this job I had no idea that would mean I would have to learn the following:

• How to shovel snow from a sidewalk with a crappy aluminum shovel from 1985
• How to remove snow from a plow piled up at the end of aforementioned sidewalk with aforementioned crappy aluminum shovel
• How to avoid gagging excessively while cleaning up a flooded bathroom floor covered in chunky poop from some old lady who used our toilet as her own public restroom after drinking a gallon of morning coffee so she wouldn't plug the toilet in her own RV
• How to refrain from chasing down the old lady and beating her for not warning us that she clogged the damn toilet
• How to bang on the office window loud enough that the early morning traveler who just wants to take a piss in my bathroom but can't get in because we haven't opened yet doesn't whip it out and pee next to my desk outside while I am checking my email

Gosh, I really do have my dream job.